


Fear of Space

by AbandonedLibrary



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Finding out your fear in the worst ways, Hurt/Comfort, Lance fear of space, M/M, Triggers May Apply[See beginning for details], hurt!lance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-04
Updated: 2016-10-18
Packaged: 2018-08-19 10:47:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,434
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8202763
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AbandonedLibrary/pseuds/AbandonedLibrary
Summary: Lance knew something was wrong. He just didn't know how much the Crystal Venom incident effected him. He didn't realize it during Allura's special training. He certainly knew once he.... was pulled through the air lock once again.





	1. I don't want this

**Author's Note:**

> So I thought about this when watching the show again. Like, Lance went through some seriously traumatizing experience right there. I remember seeing a movie saw a scene where someone, in their space suit was knocked off and sent hurling into the abyss of space. 
> 
> Like, HOLY QUIZNAK IS THAT TRAUMA WRITE IT. So, I decided to right on it. Since I need to learn how to angst. This will be a short three chapter story! 
> 
> [IMPORTANT NOTICE TRIGGERS] 
> 
> Lance will start saying things because of his fear taking over. Some of those things may trigger people so if you don't think that you'll be able to handle it. 
> 
> PLEASE DO NOT READ THIS. 
> 
> I don't know if you'll be trigger, and I don't want you to be triggered. I want you to be safe and if you don't think this will be safe for you. Then pleased don't read it. It's the reason why, I put the setting on M instead of teens. 
> 
> Remember, you've been warned.
> 
> [Beta by Alaianapotter]

“Allura, I don’t know about this.”

“Shiro, the last fight nearly cost us our lives. This training is necessary.”

“I don’t know about that,” Lance whispered as he looked at the straps that wrapped around his body.

Lance knew, though, that Allura was right in a way. The team had almost died during the last battle because their dodging and running seemed to be lacking. But something like this was causing a pain in his stomach and chest as he looked at all the airlocks that surrounded them. He tugged on his ‘safety’ line that hung just above them in the hallway.

“So, what are we doing again?” Hunk asked as he tugged on his little line.

“This training regimen is going to focus on your running, jumping and dodging. While you run to the end of the hallway the air locks will open and your job is to jump into safety, or jump to hang onto something stable. While this happens, lasers will be shooting at you that you need to dodge.” Coran said, showing the gladiators that were already holding their blasters up towards the group. Lance directed a wary look to the airlocks, something that didn’t go unnoticed by one of the Paladins.

“Please be warned that the blasters are at their medium setting, so they’ll definitely hurt when they hit you! But, no lasting damages, so no worries there.” Coran explained, a cheerful tone to his voice as he looked excited to started the training.

“Allura, this might be a little much,” Shiro warned. Allura glared at Shiro as she placed her hands on her hips.

“Shiro, you all need to improve faster. We don’t have the luxury of time.”

Shiro sighed before relenting to Allura’s training idea. Lance, wished Shiro had fought a little harder as they started at the end of the long hallway. The horrible feeling in his stomach and chest made itself known, but Lance pushed it down in order to get ready like everyone else.

“Everyone, activate your space suits.” Allura ordered through the intercom.

Lance lifted his fingers and pressed the side of his helmet. It seemed to mold into his suit and cover his mouth with a protective mask. He could hear the soft sound of oxygen filling his suit before he breathed in the cold air.  
“All right, everyone, you ready?” Lance asked, seeing the shaky grins from all of them before they looked forward again. A noise sounded out and they all sprinted down the hallway, hearing the beeping of the airlocks opening and instantly jumping to get to cover. Lance was able to get a hand onto the side of a metal frame. He reached out to take Pidge with him, who gave a grateful nod to him as they hung on while the airlocks started sucking everything out.

Hunk cried out when he was shot, losing his footing and falling away from the safe zone he was trying to reach. He hung onto the safety line as he danced around like a wind chime during a storm. Shiro and Keith were lucky to get to the safe zone just as the air locks opened, giving a dubious look towards everything around them.

“Hunk! Watch your enemies! Shiro, Keith watch how your running, those blasters were close to stumbling you! Lance, good job in looking after your teammate, but the both of you need to be faster!”  
“Quiznak she’s being brutal today,” Lance said, getting a nod from Pidge as the airlocks finally closed again. Lance watched the girl bolt forward along with the rest of the group, but Lance had a small problem overwhelming him. It made him frown as he pushed himself to keep up, but even Hunk was a good distance away.

‘What’s going on?’ Lance thought, noticing how everything seemed to just...blur. The pain he felt in his chest and stomach seemed to grow stronger. Lance didn’t know he was breathing hard until he actually listened to his gasping breathes.

“LANCE WATCH OUT!”

“WHAT?!” Lance cried, ducking, and watching in terror as the shot that blasted towards him hit the safety line instead, completely burning through the rope that kept him safe. Just in time for the airlocks to let out the sound that they were all opening again.

“LANCE, MOVE IT!” Keith shouted.

Shiro, seeing what was happening, bolted to Lance, reaching out his hand in order to get to the other in time. Lance also ran, and was relieved when he felt the brush of Shiro’s fingers against his own, but reality was cruel and soon Lance screamed as he was ripped away from his leader into the open airlock.

Out into deep space.

“No! No! No! No!” Lance shouted, seeing the airlock door get smaller and smaller as he continued to float away at a speed that made him feel sick. Lance watched as the Castle of Lions crew distant, even though he knew he had rocket boosters.

“NOOOOO!!! SOMEONE?! ANYONE?! PLEASE! I DON’T WANT TO DO THIS ANYMORE! I DON’T WANT THIS!” Lance screamed, tears rolling down his face that seemed to float in his helmet, making what he was feeling all the worse. Everything was silent except for his screaming and everything seemed colder. It made Lance scream harder in order to fill the silence with some noise and curl into a ball to keep the heat inside his body.

“I can’t do this! I can’t do this! I can’t do this! Someone, please help me! I don’t want this!” Lance chanted, hoping he would hear someone as he continued to float away. He tried to struggle at one point but curled into himself one again when he felt the cold slither its way back into his suit.

Lance felt his heart shattering for every second going by that he was out here.

He didn’t want this.

“SHIRO! PIDGE! HUNK! KEITH! ALLURA! CORAN! SOMEONE! ANYONE! HELP ME! HELP ME! HELP ME!” Lance begged, feeling himself going insane as he continued to just move through space as if he were a pebble thrown into the ocean. He would sink further and further into it until he finally vanished into the black abyss never to be found again.

He didn’t want this.

“BLUE! Please... Blue... I can’t... I can’t...” Lance begged, reaching out to the bond with his lion and tugging at his harshly. Lance could feel Blue’s own horrified roars at her Paladin’s agony and felt her try to move even in her down state. It was then that Lance had the horrid realization that Blue was still injured and undergoing repairs in the castle.

Blue couldn’t save him.

He didn’t want this.

“I... aaaaahhh.... wwwwwaaaahhh.... WWWWWAAAAHHHHH!!!” Lance wailed, not caring that his helmet was filling up with his own tears as he sobbed even harder. All his emotions were piercing through him better than any knife could. His mind felt like it was going to explode and every part of him felt like it was breaking at the seams. He didn’t know if he should open his eyes or keep them closed as each option caused him suffering.  
Suddenly something grabbed him, making him try to shake it off at first before he felt the hold grow stronger, giving him a different pain that made him look at who was holding him.

“...S... S... Shiro?” Lance asked, his voice broken, matching the shattered look on his face. Shiro nodded, bringing Lance into a tight hold that made him realize that there were voices yelling in his helmet.  
“Lance! Please answer us! We’re here! Shiro! How is he? Why isn’t he responding?”

“Lance, it’s Hunk! We’re going to get you out of there! Just hold on!”

“SHIRO! Hurry back already!!”

Lance opened and closed his mouth, not knowing what to say, instead just wrapping his arms around Shiro’s neck and his legs around his hips. He didn’t care how he looked in front of his hero, his leader, and his friend. He didn’t care how he looked to his other teammates and friends. He didn’t care how he looked to Allura or Coran.

He...

“I didn’t want this...” Lance sobbed, while Shiro activated his thrusters and sped back towards the castle ship.

“I know.”


	2. Never Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> UPDATE! I got a twitter now! Come follow and chat with me on KnightNuraStars! 
> 
> I hope you guys enjoy this! This story was intended to be one-shot that I decided need at least a little more too it. 
> 
> I hope this is okay? 
> 
> Oh quiznak, please tell me if you guys enjoyed this. lllorz.
> 
> [Beta by Alaianapotter]

Lance clutched onto Shiro as they flew through the weightlessness of space, too scared to look at anything else beside the Black Paladin. Shiro had a look that Lance couldn’t quite grasp, it looked tense, angry and something else.

“We’re almost there,” Shiro reassured him, seeing the airlock to the castle open. Lance flinched when he saw the airlock and clutched Shiro even harder, not caring if he was hurting or bruising the other.

The airlock couldn’t be trusted, he’ll get sucked out again. No one will be able to hear him, no one will be able to save him and he’ll just continue to float, alone in cold space, without anyone. He couldn’t stand that, he needed everyone and he couldn’t bare the thought of losing them so easily. He didn’t want to go away.

He didn’t want this.

“Lance, I’m here,” Shiro spoke up, making Lance blink as he noticed that they were inside the castle.

His helmet was off, allowing Lance to see all the tears and snot that was slipping out. A part of him knew he should have been embarrassed, especially with how he must look in front of everyone.

But the tears were still coming down, and Lance still shook to the point where, when Shiro tried to place him down he couldn’t even stand. Lance actually screamed when Shiro tried to let him go, causing the other quickly scoop him back up. Lance stared at Shiro in horror, believing that he would just vanish like before. So Lance latched on, he couldn’t lose Shiro.

“Lance! Lance! Listen you aren’t in space anymore buddy! You’re okay now!” Hunk cried, placing his hands on Lance, who continued to scream. Pidge looked like she was going to cry as she grabbed his ankles, hoping that more pressure would calm him. Keith stared at Lance before turning sharply when the castle shook and the loud, sorrowful roars of Blue could be heard.

“What is happening?!” Coran asked as another quake shook the castle soon after the roar.

“It’s Blue... she’s... trying to get to Lance...” Keith whispered while Shiro looked Lance in the eyes.

No longer were they filled with laughter, nor were they the bright blue that Shiro had come to rely on and love. Now they were dull and filled with such fear that it reminded Shiro of his time in the Arena. It was painted on the faces of many other slaves that were forced to fight. Shiro could see flashes of Lance in the arena, reaching out to him with that expression.

“All right, Pidge, Keith! I need you to grab as many pillows and blankets as you can and bring it to Blue’s Hangar! Hunk, I need you to grab some food for everyone. We’ll probably be there for a while. Coran, can you please grab spare clothes for Lance and myself?” Shiro ordered, making everyone stand at attention.

“Allura, can you open the conjoined hangars?” Shiro asked, his voice soft while Allura reach out carefully to place a hand on Lance’s shaking shoulder.

“Of course, of course... anything.” Allura whispered before standing tall and running off, causing everyone else to run as well, to do what Shiro ordered. Coran raced off, already knowing exactly what spare clothes would be perfect for this situation. Pidge and Hunk raced off at the same time, with Hunk saying how much good food he will make to help Lance, while Pidge was determined to get as many fluffy things for Lance as possible.

The only one left was Keith, who stared at Lance intently with his hands curled into tight fists. A look of rage and regret on his features as he reached out to pet Lance’s hair. Cursing in his mind when Lance was so far gone in his mind that he didn’t even seem to notice that Keith was touching him.

“I should have fucking known... I should have fucking known!” Keith hissed, his own tears welling up. “I knew about this! I FUCKING KNEW ABOUT THIS! I was there Shiro! If I-...” Keith started, but was stopped when Shiro gave him a commanding look.

“Keith... it’s going to be okay,” Shiro said, his voice gentle, yet firm. Something that Keith hated, as it had so much power over him. He felt his shoulders relax and his head nod. Without another word Keith left, taking one last look at Lance before doing as he was ordered. Once Keith was gone Shiro started making his way towards Blue as she continued her roars of agony.

“Black! Can you calm Blue down? I’m heading over with Lance right now!” Shiro asked pressing his thoughts towards Black, who rumbled with confirmation in his mind.

Thankfully, a few seconds after the roars dimmed down into silence, but even the silence had a heavy atmosphere. Shiro couldn’t help but run a little faster and hold Lance a little closer. He made his way towards the conjoined hangars seeing them already open and seeing all the lions sitting around Blue with Black mostly laying on top of the injured Lion.

Once Blue was able to see Lance, she rumbled and purred her concerns. Shiro rushed over to Blue so she could see her Paladin. Lance blinked in surprise before looking up and seeing Blue. He reached out to touch her. Once Lance touched the metal, he felt himself go limp.

Blue was here.

Shiro was here.

He wasn’t out in space.

He wasn’t out in space.

HE WASN’T OUT IN SPACE.

“Blue, I was so scared’” Lance croaked out, his throat sore from all his screaming.

To Shiro it sounded like chopped words, but Blue seemed to understand as she rumbled to him sadly. She would not fail her Paladin again. Even if she was dismantled, she would go to him in his time of need. Lance was hers. He was her Paladin. HHer pilot. Her precious little ocean. She would not allow him to go through as he did.

“Shi... Shiro... sorry... sorry...” Lance apologized, making Shiro shake his head.

“No, do not ever apologize for something like this Lance,” Shiro spoke, kneeling to settle Lance on the floor. He didn’t let go as he placed his mechanical hand on Lance’s head so that the other could face him.

“This isn’t your fault,” Shiro informed, pressing his head against Lance’s own. Making Lance feel fresh tears fall down when he saw those silver eyes. They held no resentment and no disappointment, instead those eyes showed understanding.

“I didn’t want it...” Lance wheezed out, making Shiro nod.

“Never Lance, you won’t have to do it again,” Shiro reassured him, leaning in, his lips barely touching Lance’s as he continued to speak.

“I won’t let it happen again. Neither will everyone else. If you don’t want it, then no more,” Shiro reassured, making Lance close his eyes and sniffle as he shivered at the thought of going through that experience again. Lance felt those lips touch his own and took comfort from the warm kiss Shiro gave.

“I’ll make sure it never happens,” Shiro promised, leaning back, letting Lance nod his head. Looking up to see Pidge and Keith running in with bundles in their arms.

“For now, let’s do a good old fashion slumber party help you.”

“.... Oh, my quiznak, Shiro what are you an old man?”

“Pidge, I’m only a few years old than you and this so called ‘old man’ will ground you.”

“Abuse of power.”

“Then call me the new Emperor.”

“... Am I supposed to say something after that?”

“Damn it Keith.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another story done and finished. 
> 
> I hope you guys enjoy this. 
> 
> The next story to be updated will be Garrison Pizzeria!
> 
> Beta by Alaianapotter!!!!

Lance felt like he was in and out of consciousness. There was a flurry of movement and he was now in his pajamas instead of his uniform. In fact, everyone was in their pajamas and all constructing something that Lance didn’t really notice until he was inside  
.  
When Lance finally focused again he was bundled in a soft blanket, on top of a very cushioned and soft bedding made completely of comforters and pillows. All around his friends were talking, eating from the bowls of food, or listening to what the other person was talking about.

Lance furrowed his brow and noticed that he was still in Shiro’s arms. While Lance knew he should let go of the other, he didn’t want too. The moment he tried to let go the fear griped him, making him flinch and cling onto Shiro harder.

“Ssshhhhh, Lance you’re not out in space anymore,” Shiro whispered, making Lance calm just a bit in time to see something hot being presented to him.

Lance looked up to see Allura, who had such a guilty look that Lance reached out to hold her wrists to try and comfort her. Allura let out a breath a smile on her lips, though it didn’t reach her eyes.

“Drink, this will help your throat feel better,” Allura informed him. Lance blinked before he took the tea. He gingerly sipped it and hummed in delight at the sweet taste and how the liquid seemed to sooth his parched and aching throat. It wasn’t just his throat, Lance felt his whole body relax and took even more sips of the tea.

“Good?” Allura asked, making Lance nod as he continued to drink.

“Well, there is more where that came from. Just tell me and I’ll give you so more all right?” Allura said. Lance stared at his empty cup before looking at Allura gain. Allura laughed this time, earning everyone’s attention to Lance as she took the cup to refill.

“Lance! I made you something delicious!” Hunk informed him, presenting a bowl of what looked like a multi-colored version of mashed potatoes with veggies and meat inside. Lance took the bowl and started eating, feeling very hungry all of a sudden. Hunk nodded in approval while Allura came back with more tea.

Lance felt content and refused anymore refills or food. Instead he leaned contently against Shiro, who was eating his own food carefully as Lance stared at everyone. Coran was speaking with Pidge about something while Hunk and Allura conversed. But, Keith... Keith was close by, near him and not doing anything. He had a very serious look on his face, one that was guilty as Allura’s face.

His look also had one of devastation.

“Keith,” Lance whispered, making Keith look up from where he was staring and turn to look at him. He didn’t know why, but Lance felt nervous as he looked at Keith.  
“Are you... okay?” Lance whispered, making Keith stare at the other in disbelief.

“I should be asking you that,” Keith whispered making Lance frown.

“I’m.... it’s really bad right here,” Lance informed, pointing to his head before placing a hand on his heart. “and here...” Lance finished. Keith could not understand and Shiro pushed his finished dinner away in order to watch over the conversation.

“...Lance... I’m sorry... I should have known...” Keith started, but was silenced when Lance shook his head.

“Not your fault,” Lance said, making Keith stare at him in disbelief again, causing Shiro to chuckle. The vibrations made Lance shiver.

“Told you,” Shiro added, making Keith blush. They decided to let it go for now. Eventually they would have to bring it back up again. They would need to figure out a plan for Lance to heal and to not fear space again. For now, they would relax in the comfort of the castle they made from sheets and pillows.

One thing did need to be addressed though.

“Okay, everyone it’s time we placed everything out on the table,” Shiro spoke up, causing all other conversations to be silenced.

“We’re at war, one that no matter how we look at it... is going to be long and ongoing,” Shiro stated, making everyone wince or sigh. No one wanted to admit it, but they knew that what Shiro said was true. Zarkon’s rule had been going on for 10,000 years, and they haven’t really made much of a dent in the War. While they had made a few differences, it wasn’t nearly enough to say that the end was near.

In fact, it seemed so far away now.

“Constant fighting chips away even the strongest soldier... so I want everyone to state right now any problems and any fears they may have. Even if it’s something simple or something deeper, we need to be more open,” Shiro whispered. He ran a hand down Lance’s arm, staring at how frail the usually energetic Paladin seemed to be.

It was disturbing for everyone to see Lance in such a frail state. It weighed on all their minds and some wondered ‘what if that happened to me?’ They were all told about Lance being almost shot out of an airlock, yet shrugged it off as if it was nothing. Never realizing the chip that happened to Lance had finally became large and had shattered a piece of their friend.

“I hate the fact we don’t have any down time,” Keith spoke up, surprising everyone as he looked down at his hands.

“I used to be able to wood carve when I’m stressed or... read.... I like training, but I want to be able to do things to wind down and not wind up,” Keith confessed. Lance was surprised at the confession. He hadn’t realized that even Keith had his limits for training and now saw the other in a new light. 

“You carve?” Lance asked, making Keith nod his head.

“Will you make me something?” Lance questioned, a little shy. Keith stared at Lance for a long time before a faint smile could be seen on his lips. “I’ll make you something amazing,” Keith promised, making Lance blush as he looked down at feet.

“I hate eating food goo every day. I hate the fact that we don’t have variety in our meals and I hate not being able to cook,” Hunk spoke up, making Pidge jump in surprise beside him.

“Like, we’re faced with life and death situations and I’ve been trying to deal with them. But, like I used to deal with stress with cooking! But, like most of the food in the stores are bad and I only found so much to make the meal we have now! I felt so happy cooking and I miss it! I stress cook and not being able to anything is really weighing on me,” Hunk shouted, waving his arms around as he explained before taking a deep breath.

Pidge patted her friend on the back, who smiled in appreciation. The girl grinned before she looked at everyone once all eyes were on her. Pidge thought for a moment before raising her head up and speaking.

“I’m scared that my brother and father are already dead,” Pidge stated pulling her knees up to her chest as she leaned against her large friend. Hunk, placed a comforting arm around the girl as she looked at the blankets.

“I miss my mom and feel horrible for abandoning her.”

Everyone had gone silent before Keith spoke up again.

“I’m scared that I’m not entirely human...” Keith whispered, making everyone look at him in surprise. Everyone but Lance, who reach out to take the other’s wrist. Keith grabbed a hold of Lance’s hand instead and held tight.

“I’m starting to have bad reactions to loud noises or bright things,” Hunk sighed, sagging a bit causing Pidge to hold him back.

“I have PTSD from what the Galra have done to me... and I’m scared it will affect me in battle and cause one of you to get injured or worse...” Shiro confessed, making Lance look up to Shiro, who looked at Lance with a solemn face. It hurt Lance to see and he leaned more into Shiro, hoping that the gesture gave him some comfort.

It seemed to, as Shiro held him tighter and smashed his face into the point where his neck and shoulder meet. Allura and Coran remained silent as the memorized the information. Everyone jumped a little again when Lance let an exhausted yawn slip past his lips causing the Paladin to glow a bright red in embarrassment.

“For now, let us rest. Tomorrow... I shall personally figure out ways to make your lives a little easier and to help lighten the burden that was placed on you all,” Allura ordered, her eyes filled with determination.

Everyone settled down in certain areas of the large fort. Pidge slept beside Allura, with the princess curling around the smaller Paladin. Already the two were asleep with Pidge letting out soft little snores. Hunk and Coran weren’t far off, with Hunk spread out like a star fish and Coran using the other’s stomach as a pillow. The two snored loudly, but the girls were so exhausted that they slept right through the noise.

Lance was nestled between Shiro and Keith. Pillows were under their heads and the mice slept in a pile a little above where he was laying his head. A comforter was nestled on top and Lance snuggled deeper in the warmth. Keith was behind Lance, digging his head into his back and placing one arm around the other’s hip. Keith was fast asleep and Lance could feel his warm breath even through his shirt.

Lance wasn’t asleep and neither was Shiro, the two looked at each other as they hear the snores of their friends and even the rumbles of the lions. Lance opened and closed his mouth, not knowing what to say to Shiro. There was a pool of warmth in his heart and stomach that was spreading through his body.

He wondered what it meant.

“Sleep Lance,” Shiro whispered, leaning forward and surprising the Blue Paladin with a kiss on his lips.

“Shiro... you better not fucking make out right now, because while Lance gets a free pass you don’t.” Came the soft mumbles from under the blankets by Keith. Lance giggled when he saw Shiro blush and swat at the lump who growled back before settling.

“Night Shiro,” Lance said, leaning forward to give a quick kiss to the other’s lips before burrowing his head into his chest.

The fear of space would be with Lance for a while.

That he knew but the burden was lightening with the warmth that surrounded him.


End file.
